Coffee coffin...

Our Sunday mornings would not be complete without the ritual long-winded making of the Americano coffee to accompany toast and Michael Parkinson.

But this morning, things did not go according to plan. The espresso machine was taking AGES to make the coffee. Not only that, but it was billowing out steam and whistling like it might just go into orbit. Worse still, after ten minutes of this aberrant behaviour, there was only about a thimbleful of sludgy looking coffee in the bottom of the little pyrex jug.

I feared there may have been some user error. Maybe not enough water in the first place? Coffee tamped too hard? Machine not assembled properly?

None of the above. After extensive scientific swap-out testing, I have come to the conclusion that it is officially shafted.

Ah well, it was nearly seven years old I suppose. But it was a wedding present, so it has some sentimental value.

But as we know, every cloud has a silver lining. This means that I can buy a new, shinier, better coffee-making gadget.

And this is where you come in. I don't know what to get.

Help me coffee-suppin' friends. You're my only hope.